What happened next?

By Mary

Fr. Peter returned from Medjugorje. It was so good to hear all of he had to tell. We had just experienced the first seizure free week in as long as we could remember. It was just so good to know there was something to do. We could pray. We did! The first thing we did was have three very special masses at home. Colm began to make a daily consecration to Our Lady. We started to try and say the rosary more. I have to admit I found it hard! BUT more amazingly we were still seizure free! It was a strange feeling as time passed and days went by. Colm remained tired and irritable. He was still highly drugged. School still wasn’t much of an option. He asked for the drugs to come off. It was too much too soon. We went on counting days weeks and wondering.

It became more and more obvious that Colm’s seizures had gone! We had another appointment with the psychiatrist. ‘When will you believe they are gone’ she asked. David said ‘wait and see. Each life crisis will worry me’. I suddenly knew this was it! They had gone!

Believe me! It was not easy. His mood swings continued. He was scared and didn’t know what to think. His Consultant rang. He said ‘I have news. We have a seizure specific recommendation for you but I hear he is ok?’ I was in the car. I felt really strange and said ‘Yes! He is ok’ I hesitated and said ‘It is through prayer’ It was the first time I had declared what I believed! I went on to say Colm was demanding to come off his medication. Though a scary prospect we had his backing and began a long wean off programme.

The effects were horrid. Inability to sleep, anxiety, anorexia and mood swings worsened. How could we tell people what was happening? We were struggling so much. The joy of cure but hell to bear the reality of his continued troubles. Fr. Peter worked hard with us. Time went on leaving no doubt he had physical healing but now the scarring was there. We had to get through. But the family had stuck it for so many years. We dealt with it. Now sudden cure had come. Instead of relief and joy, pent up reaction hit. From coping we fell apart.  Each has our own story. For Lil and Pat the acceptance of Colm’s moods and reactions now gave way to resentment and anger. You are well what’s your excuse!?

For Dominic and Mairead it was trying to deal with every day. I began to feel the strain. Years of coping, the need to work nights in a nursing home to fit in began to take its toll. The house was a mess, simple tasks not done. I had no energy. Colm in school wasn’t easy. He couldn’t make a morning start. He was tired, over emotional and it got worse. We went to the UK for a family wedding. We presented as a happy family. A child cured but the strain told a story to those who loved us. Just before Easter I was going to Mass and rosary. I had been coping with a headache for days. The house was stressful. Colm had another temper. I was so weary of it. Trying to look at it! Was it me? Was it him? Was it his condition? He had been off drugs since Christmas but his psychotherapist reminded me how scarring takes time. I reached the church for Mass and rosary. Colm was with me. He had been in an angry mood. I couldn’t go in for Mass. I was distraught. We had been so blessed and yet we were in a mess. My head burned with pain. I walked and walked wanting to be alone. I got to the sea wall. I am terrified of the sea at night. I am not a swimmer. Yet the rhythmic nature of the waves seemed soothing. It seemed cooling to the head. It seemed peaceful and drawing. I felt drawn to it. At that moment I felt hands pulling me. It was Colm. He pulled me to church. Mass and Rosary were ending. I was so confused and ashamed. I was afraid but the head pain was the most I remember. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I went to the statue of our mother. WHY? MOTHER WHY? I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!  I stood and suddenly couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I felt such pain. The candles were bright. Her face was there. Then BLACK! The rest was a blur. I felt I was falling and falling.  I remember voices, someone holding me, my head being stroked. That began to bring me back up. The pain was there still. The ambulance came and I was in A&E. I felt foolish and stupid. David, Colm and Fr. Peter were there.  I was discharged and went home to angry confused kids. Our Mother had to knock me flat to make me stop and hand it over and to trust and stop battling.

I gave up work and took time. Precious time I spent in prayer. That story in itself is amazing. I knew I was part of something bigger and more special than I could understand. I had to put myself in Our Mother’s hands. I found she had been alongside me even when I didn’t know her. The rosary and Mass became my survival. In May I went to Medjugorje with Colm. Another story in itself! But I spent time so much to think. It hasn’t been easy since and probably won’t be for a long time. Colm is now growing so much, so healthy. He has no drugs, he lives a full life. He still has to catch up in many ways for the years he missed. He is a teenager and crazy about flying. He enjoys Air Cadets and all the activities they offer. The main problem is filling his ever empty stomach!! He has just completed his first EVER full term in school. With help he is pulling up his grades. All I know is I have learned to trust. I know we are watched over and planned for. I hope and pray for the same trust for the rest of the family. I know Our Lady is with us. Fr. Peter remains and always will be a friend who is part of our family and a source of peace and strength to us.

I have found a new job working as a Pastoral Assistant for young people in the Catholic Church in Jersey. Again I believe as part of Our Lady’s help.

Soon I will write a fuller story. I have a lot to share from Our Lady that I am honoured to have been given.

Here are the family in Feb. 2005